How I deal with isolation as a one-person Product Ops team

The challenges of being the only person in charge of a multi-disciplinary set of responsibilities are not new. One-person teams are common in fields like engineering and UX, and now they are common in Product Ops.
I’ve always read about it but now I’m experiencing the challenges myself. Here I write about my own story: what's behind the challenge in my case and how I deal with it.

When frustration takes the reins

My greatest motivation, raison d’être even, is to make the deepest possible impact in anything I put my mind to. I enjoy solving complex problems, particularly when I have no idea how to do it at first. Hence, the worse thing I can experience in my job is being spread so thin that I have a superficial impact in the system and I can’t grow. This is not only a challenge for a one-person team, but in the case of Product Ops it is even easier to spend most of the time in operational work instead of in deep thinking, experience slower learning loops, and be loaded with work out of convenience or unfamiliarity with the role.

I know from experience that, when the above happens, frustration grows in me and I can feel how emotions related to anger knock at my door to take the driver seat. This is my brain releasing mainly noradrenaline and dopamine because it considers I’m being attacked. This depends not only on reality but also on past experiences wired up in my brain, so it doesn't need to be true to believe it: my brain will try to keep me safe. In any case, unless I do something about it, I will automatically act as if I'm under attack.

All the way down to isolation

If I get defensive, I will communicate worse. I will notice that the quality and impact of my work is worsening, and because the intensity of my emotions won’t match reality, distorted self-critique and sense of guilt will take the reins.
At this point, my brain will try to reach shelter as the stimuli it receives will activate insecurity and anxiety. “I’m not good at my job” I will tell myself, so I will feel shame and will hide in my safe place. This leads to social disconnect from the team, and my emotions will transition to sadness. And this leads to isolation, the diametrically opposite place that can help a one-person team (anyone, really).

I've been there a few times already, so I've been able to experiment on how I can deal with isolation and prevent myself from going all the way down to such emotional distress.

Curiosity as an "antidote"

I've learned that this transition goes unnoticed unless I pay attention to my body and feelings, and to the way I treat myself and others. The closer to isolation, the harder the recovery, but it is never too late. What I found that works for me is to not force myself to communicate and connect with people when my brain is in survival mode, there is work to do before that can happen. The process here is neither obvious nor the same for everyone, each one of us needs to find our own.

When my brain is in survival mode I find it hard to rationally communicate with it, so I changed the strategy. For the past years, I’ve been learning how I can deliberately activate emotions, so the conversation happens from emotion to emotion, instead of from reason to emotion. It turns out that I can trick my brain to release chemicals that act as “antidotes” to the ones it considers I need.

The “antidote” emotions that work best for me are feelings around the spectrum of curiosity and security. For me, it feels more natural to activate curiosity rather than security, so I start with it. When I notice I feel frustrated, I focus on actively listening to myself:

• What's behind the feeling?
• Why does it frustrate me?
• Is it frustration the right label for what I feel?
• What else do I feel (it hardly ever is only one emotion)?
• Does the intensity of the emotions match reality to the best of my understanding?

I enjoy the conversation with myself and I appreciate my brain trying to keep me safe. At this point, my brain is releasing serotonin, which serves as antidote for the chemicals it released when it felt attacked. Serotonin doesn’t vanish the unpleasant emotions, but it allows me to change my response to them.
Active listening and self-awareness increase my sense of control and confidence, so my brain keeps releasing serotonin and now oxytocin too. I feel more secure. I not only have better answers and tools to plan my way out of frustration (and ultimately isolation), I also have the right state of mind to apply them.

Now comes the action plan

Once I've managed to convince my brain, through emotions, that I am not in danger, I can make better decisions and act accordingly. This is finally the right time to apply a "rational" action plan to avoid isolation when facing any challenge as a one-person Product Ops team, such as:

• Partner with people in the team who can help me have a greater impact and I can also learn from.
• Work on assertiveness and time management, learn to say no.
• Ask for help, which requires of a huge willingness to expose to and connect with people (managers, colleagues, friends, whoever).
• Evangelize about Product Ops to increase the team’s understanding and align expectations on the role.

That being said, I fail many times at going through this process from early stages. I keep working on shifting it as far to the left as I can, but even if it's not perfect it has exponentially improved my life. I sometimes experience frustration, shame, social disconnect and a transition to sadness, but my recovery time has improved a lot (it still is). Even when I feel that way, self-awareness and learning to actively listen to myself allows me to face the challenges without negatively impacting my self-worth, accepting them as part of the game.
Ultimately, it has taught me to be kinder to me and to others, and to understand that if a person is drifting apart from the team, they are probably going through a lot.